1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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