yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
