You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
tell me about the eggs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
