dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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