You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
