Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
