it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
