I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
