you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
