Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
