drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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