she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
