is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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