saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
