You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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