Where are you?
In a non slutty way
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
