you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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