he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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