CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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