Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
