my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
