it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
