shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
