Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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