I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What a dumb baby whore.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
