A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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