I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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