it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you didnt know i had herpes?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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