It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
