Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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