it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
