tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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