Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My vagina just recognized that song.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
