I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
