it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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