Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
