he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
