But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
