What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
