He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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