i just wanna soil my oats bro
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
