Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize