Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
