We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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