He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just google imaged poop.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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