no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
