it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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