JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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