It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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