I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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