matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
