Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
