we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
