is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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