I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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