I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
