so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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