Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Less talking, more tequila
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
