i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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