I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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