garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize