If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize